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Islamic Voice Logo

OCTOBER 1999

MONTHLY    *    Vol 13-10 No:154    *   OCTOBER 1999/ RAJAB 1419H
  email: editor@islamicvoice.com

WOMEN IN ISLAM


How to Make Your Husband Happy


How to Make Your Husband Happy

Translated by Dr Abu Talha

This is the continuation of the summaries of the two books by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed. The following is Part 11 of a summary of the second book, How to Make Your Husband Happy.

The books in Arabic are by Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed, an Egyptian scholar, who graduated from the Islamic University of Madina in Saudi Arabia. The two books are: How to Make Your Wife Happy ( the summary of this book was carried in this page in September 1999 issue of Islamic Voice) and How to Make Your Husband Happy.

These books go beyond the traditional presentation of rights and duties to the ‘Adab (good manners) and discuss the application of these rights in daily life. The following summary highlights the responsibilities of husband and wife towards each other. Every single item mentioned by the author is supported by evidences from Qur’an, Sunnah or the actions of the Companions.

The following is part two of a summary of the book How to Make your HUSBAND Happy.

Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, office, travel, or whatever has separated you, begin with a good greeting.

  • Meet him with a cheerful face.
  • Beautify and perfume yourself.
  • Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested.
  • Receive him with love and endearing sentences.
  • Try to prepare delicious food for him and have it ready on time.

Soften Your Voice

  • For your husband only, it shouldn’t be used in front of ‘non-mahram’ men (men who can marry you if you were unmarried).

Physical Beautification

  • Take care of your body and fitness.
  • Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.
  • Bathe regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces or bad smells.
  • Avoid that your husband should observe you in dirty clothes or rough shape.
  • Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tattoo.
  • Use the types of perfumes, colours, and clothes that the husband likes.
  • Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time.
  • However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course, only act as such in front of mahrem men and women.

Be Happy With What Allah Has Ordained

  • You shouldn’t be depressed because your husband is poor or has a small time job.
  • You should look at the poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah (SWT) for all that has been given to you.
  • You should remember that real wealth lies in one’s Iman and piety.

Indifference to Worldly Things

  • You should not consider this world as your last hope and interest.
  • You should not ask your husband for unnecessary things.
  • Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible (Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the life hereafter and utilise whatever Allah has given us to achieve paradise (Jannah).
  • Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give away as charity and feed the poor and the needy.

Be Grateful

  • According to the Prophet (Pbuh), the majority in the hell would comprise women because they were ungrateful for the good done to them.
  • The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways.
  • The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be dissappointed and will start asking himself: Why should I do any good to her, if she never appreciates?

Devotion and Loyalty

  • Support your husband particularly when he is going through a bad phase in life , e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy
  • Support him through your own work, money, and property if needed.

Obedience

  • Obey your husband in all that he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram).
  • In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant.

Please Him If He Is Angry

  • First of all, try to avoid what makes him angry.
  • But if you can’t, then try to appease him as follows:
  • a. If you are mistaken, apologise.
  • b. If he is mistaken then:
  • Keep still instead of arguing with him; or
  • Yield your right or
  • Wait until his anger subsides and discuss the matter peacefully with him.

If he was angry because of external reasons then:

  • Keep silent until his anger subsides
  • Find execuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, some one insulted him
  • Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened,
  1. e.g.You should tell me what happened
  2. I must know what made you so angry.
  3. You are hiding something, and I have the right to know

Guardianship While He is Absent

  • Protecting yourself from any prohibited relations.
  • Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that the husband doesn’t like other people to know.
  • Take care of the house and children.
  • Take care of his money and property.
  • Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full hijab.
  • Refuse people whom he does not like to come over.
  • Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place.
  • Be good to his parents and relatives in his absence.

Show Respect to his Family and Friends

  • You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents.
  • You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives.
  • You should avoid putting him in a position where he has to choose between his mother and his wife.
  • Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.
  • Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home.
  • Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in time of disress, etc..

Admirable Jealousy

  • Jealousy is a sign of wife’s love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulating or backbiting others, disrespecting them, etc..
  • You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.

Patience and Emotional Support

  • Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.
  • When you face hard times and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, your children, relatives or property, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.
  • When facing hardships in Da’wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested, etc.), be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of paradise.
  • When he illtreats you, counter his ill-treatment with good treatment

Support in Da’wah

  • Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.
  • Encourage him to pray at night.
  • Listen and recite the Qur’an individually and with your husband.
  • Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband.
  • Pray particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.
  • Share in arranging Da’wah activities for women and children.
  • Learn Islamic rules (ahkam) and good manners (‘adab) for women.
  • Support your husband’s activities by encouraging him, offering opinions, soothing his pains, etc.
  • Yield some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband for Da’wah.
  • Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and children will be in the preservation of Allah.

Good Housekeeping

  • Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged.
  • Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom.
  • Be Perfect of food and prepare healthy foods.
  • Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing etc.,
  • Learn to raise your children properly and in an Islamic way.

Preservation of Finances and the Family

  • Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he will not mind it.
  • Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.
  • Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and Companions.

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