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MONTHLY * Vol 11-02 No:121 * FEBRUARY 1997/ SHAWWAL 1417H
email: editor@islamicvoice.com |
BOOK REVIEW
Daughters of Another Path
Experiences of American Women Choosing Islam
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By Carol L. Anway
Yawna Publications
P.O.Box:27
Lee’s Summit, MO64063, USA
Pages 220, Price $13.95
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Reviewed by Maqbool Ahmed Siraj.
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Daughters of Another Path: Experiences of American Women Choosing Islam is an American mother’s voyage of discovery whose daughter married a Muslim Iranian, converted to Islam took on Hijab and shed all those etiquettes that were considered American. Author of this well-researched work Ms. Carol L. Anway was agonised at her sweet daughter Jodi relinquishing the Church and entering the fold of Islam, the religion of her husband Raza Mohammadzadeh. Initially the experience was heart-wrenching. "It was like she had stabbed us with a knife". It was a period when Iran was through the post-birth pangs of revolution. Media demonisation of Islam in the US was at its peak. American hostages were just out of the Iranian crisis. Yet the family reconciled and worked out relations with her (daughter’s) new family. But this set Carol on a quest. She explored the world of female neo-converts and found out that: "although strange to Americans, Islamic way of life is wholesome and fulfilling".
The book is the outcome of interviews conducted by Carol through questionnaires circulated among the 57 neo-Muslim converts. Portrayal is sensitive, often tear-jerking. The streak of sympathy, pain, agony and understanding is evident throughout the narratives.
American, white, female, Muslim convert and practising at that, must be a heady mix for the liberal Americans. Such women become conspicuous, often triggering thoughts like "bizarre", "fundamentalist", mysterious". For an average American, fed on images from the films such as With out My Daughter, being different is equivalent to being bad. Most of them see Muslim women as an oppressed lot, walking behind their men, eating their leftovers and bound with chains. All such notions get a rude shock. Converted women, many still without husbands, speak in unison about being comfortable with the new faith. Freedom with dignity has been their’s eversince they surrendered to Islam. Some of the replies are instructive: "Don’t think I am repressed by my clothes. When you look at me look at Abraham’s wife and Jesus mother and how they are dressed". Or "Just because I cover my head does not make me a weirdo, a fundamentalist, a suppressed woman or a weak woman". Or yet another "the marriage relationship is protected and sexuality
blossoms behind the veil. The streets would be safe. Your children would not be exposed to sex and drugs". Some even chide the Americans: "The arrogance of this society and culture on earth in terms of women’s rights, human rights, children’s rights, minority rights is exasperating. While the fact is this society has been stripped of all values and
Christian churches have all wrapped the Bible so badly by
giving people the philosophy that all sins will be forgiven and whatever feels good, do it".
Of the 57 neo-Muslim females, 53 per cent hold a Bachelor’s degree or above. The women ranged in ages from 21 to 47. Fortyseven per cent of the respondents worked outside their homes. Only two did not wear hijab full time. Their responses represent extremely positive reactions to their chosen Muslim life-style, by contrast to the more negative stories often heard in the media. Most said they led lives wholesome and fulfilling.
Insouciant life-style of the US works both ways for a neo-Muslim. Transition on a psychological level is easy, given the nation’s roots in the liberal ethos of its founding. But collective quest of societal values and Islamic ambience do make lives stressful. Islam extends well into dress, etiquettes, mannerism, family relationships, food, sanitary habits, societal bonds, choice of toys and media programmes. No wonder then when convert-mothers have to hide from their kids miniskirts gifted from the grandparents. Some even feel terrified at the thought of leaving their kids under the care of non-Muslim parents. But Hijab emerges as the most cumbersome shift from American dress and manners and the most conspicuous symbol of turning against American ways. In the words of a woman convert, "it is almost like a fish swimming upstream".
Carol finds the nascent Islamic society taking roots in the soil of free America far removed from the stereotype projection from the US media. "I certainly recognise that Muslim marriages are not catastrophes as the media would lead us to believe. All those daughters confirmed that their decisions to convert was their own and not their Muslim husbands and that they were not brainwashed". Even for the author the sense of hurt was overpowering to want to walk away from Jodi and Raza. But that phase of wanting to completely reject them lasted only for a short time. As she confesses elsewhere in the book: "if we are to describe all Muslim husbands by the model presented to us by our son-in-law (Raza), we would tell you they are gentle, strong, kind, intelligent, courteous, happy, dependable, nurturing".
Carol’s quest is continuing. She is currently collecting questionnaires from those women who converted to Islam but left practice for various reasons.
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