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In most western countries, as we know them, staring is considered rude. But not here. In India people are even not aware that staring is one of the worst possible behaviour.

*Sazia 18, last month took admission in one of the Muslim managed college in south Mumbai.She cancelled her admission very next day as she was scared of the staring eyes.

* Farha, 24, took up the veil. “Initially I went out without my head covered. I was the desired object of every pedestrian. It was so sickening”.

* Saima, 22, took up the veil for this reason. She says, “Nobody wants to be devoured by unknown faces. Could I ever call the police because eyes are staring at me constantly even while I have my back towards them?” she adds with suppressed hilarity, “The police would've guffawed, if not goggled some more to add to my misery.” Alim, 16, has no problem with staring whatsoever. “We all go out, my friends and I, to gaze at girls. The boys have a funny name for it too, chaane-baazi.

Rehana is a worried mother. She was so happy when Sazia got admission in the Muslim managed college. But one single day at the college shattered all her myth. “I was very apprehensive sending my daughter to any of the elite colleges. That's why I opted for a Muslim managed college. But the student culture was no different there too in fact it was even worse than the elite colleges”, she said.

The educated men understand this issue faced by the women. Azam, 26, a mechanical engineer, believes that, “it is difficult to be a woman in India. People do not have moral sense and staring is considered as normal behaviour”.

Abbas,a software consultant believes staring is many a times considered as fashionable. Even many a times boys and girls enjoy them. Farida agrees with her husband's thoughts. “Educate the masses, that's all I can say, although everyone knows this already. Mind you, even educated people stare at each other. Maybe the solution is to ingrain in our collective conscience that ‘staring is rude,' as a substitute for ‘staring is refreshing.' If the West established this without reading the Quran, why can't we, the believers, do the same?”

Collective conscience is a term coined by Emile Durkheim, a French sociologist. This conscience is the moral consensus that is violated by deviant acts. Today, the media is very strong, needless to say. The television rules. On TV, we commonly observe and admire appealing, independent women walking on the streets. How independent are they?

According to Durkheim, society transcends the individual, and people's beliefs, values, dispositions and desires are often products of social forces and structures they poorly understand.

The collective conscience is created in schools, and pricked by the media, the television and writers. Therefore, it is changeable-good news for those who think that we aren't doing everything right as a society and beneficial changes would be much appreciated.

And whereas Durkheim looked upon the individual as more or less powerless in comparison with society, L. Ron Hubbard, the father of Scientology, that Tom Cruise has been said to be a follower of, added the spark to the good news above by stating that an individual should “master and adjust” his environment rather than adjusting to the environment.

Are we all so helpless struggling today against injustice, immorality or simply powerlessness? Consider Razia who feels she's “hounded by woman-gazers” against whom she's waging a battle in her home first. “It is horrendous the way the servants in my house gape at me just because they have seen in Indian films that a chauffeur or housekeeper can fall in love with the boss' daughter, and can elope with her”.

‘Gawking at each other' is harassment to me, and I, as an individual, would not like to contribute to this sort of collectiveness which cannot be said to be moral anyhow”, said Razia.

In urban areas, most of the housing societies have male security guard. One of the major complaints against them is their stare. Karim, a business man said “I had to warn the opposite society watchman twice as he was found to be staring at my college-going daughter when they were sitting in their drawing rooms which is visible from the opposite society compound”.

Muslim parents must teach their children about the Islamic ruling about staring being a bad habit. Staring is the first step towards Adultery. Islam has strict instruction against all those behaviour patterns which promote adultery. Hence our children need to be coached, trained and informed about the Islamic ruling regarding staring so that they start respecting women.