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The Qur’an forbids a Muslim to be disrespectful to the parents even if they are non-Muslims.
Islam instructs Muslims to be extremely respectful towards their parents, regardless of their religion. Goodness towards one’s parents is one of the most essential decrees of Islam. Many verses of the Glorious Qur’an stress the importance of being kind towards one’s parents. The Glorious Qur’an says:
“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life say not to them a word of contempt nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And out of kindness lower to them the wing of humility and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.” (Al-Qur’an 17:23-24)
The Qur’an forbids a Muslim to be disrespectful to the parents even if they are non-Muslims and ardent to the extent of pressurising him to renounce Islam. Says Allah (swt) in the Glorious Qur’an: “…Show gratitude to Me and to your parents: to Me is (your final) Goal. But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge obey them not; Yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration) and follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love): in the End the return of you all is to Me and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that you did.” (Al-Qur’an 31:14-15 & 29:8)
The rights of Allah take precedence over everyone else’s. In the above-mentioned verses the Muslims are commanded to show respect and gratitude to their non-Muslim parents and not to obey them only on certain occasions when they want them to worship anybody or anything besides Allah, the Creator and what could be a greater sin than associating partners with Allah? Some Muslims, after having invited their parents to Islam and finding their parents reluctant and unwilling to accept Islam, get frustrated and cut off relationships with them because the parents do not understand their “new” religion. However, the verse does not say, “cut them off,” but rather says “obey them not,” instructing the Muslims not to obey them in matters of Shirk. As far as being dutiful and kind towards them is concerned, the very same verse continues further saying “Yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration)”. One should not be arrogant or insolent but rather be kind, considerate and courteous towards them. Indeed, such beneficent teachings are not to be found in any other religion.
An example of such treatment is found in the life of Asmaa, the daughter of Abu Bakr. She had a non-Muslim mother living in Makkah. Asmaa, along with her father and rest of the Muslims had migrated to Madinah. Her mother came to Madinah to visit Asmaa after the Treaty of Hudaybiya, as peace was established and they could visit each other. She wanted favours from Asmaa. Asmaa was not sure what to do, as her mother was a polytheist. Thus she came to the Prophet (pbuh), informed him of the situation, and asked the Prophet (pbuh) if she could see her mother and treat her kindly. The Prophet (pbuh) asked her to see her and treat her well. Then Allah revealed: “Allah forbids you not with regards to those who fought not against you because of religion, and drove you not out from your homes, that you should show them kindness and deal justly with them” (Al Qur’an, 60:8). (Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 8, Hadith No. 5978; Also mentioned in Sahih Muslims & Musnad Ahmad)
The prophet (pbuh) once said to one of his companions “…stick to her (his mother) for paradise is beneath her feet.” (Sahih Al-Jami-Assageer Vol. 1, Hadith No. 1249, Ahmad, Baihaqi)
Narrated Abu Huraira
A man came to Allah’s Apostle and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man said. “Who is next?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man further said, “Who is next?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked for the fourth time, “Who is next?” The Prophet said, “Your father.” (Sahih Bukhari, Vol.No. 8, Ch. 2, Hadith No. 2)
Thus 75 per cent or ¾ of the love and companionship of the children are due to the mother and only 25 per cent or ¼ of the love and companionship goes to the father. In other words, the mother gets the gold medal, she gets the silver medal, as well as the bronze medal. The father has to be satisfied with a mere consolation prize.
This display of kindness towards ones parents not only fulfills our obligation towards our Lord and the Creator but also beco-mes the means through which they may accept Islam. Considering the love, care and pain undertaken by parents while upbringing the child, no Muslim child would want his parents to be put into the Hellfire and no Muslim could help but to call out to his Lord: “My Lord! Bes-tow on them your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.”
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