Women in Islam

The rights granted to the husband are necessary for the peaceful and productive running of the family.


Allah has appointed the man as the usual head of the family:

Men are in charge of women by (right of) what (qualities) Allah has given one over the other and what they spend (in support) from their wealth. So, righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah), guarding in (their husband’s) absence what Allah I commands them to guard (their husband’s honor, property, secrets, etc.) But those women from whom you fear defiance - first admonish them; then (if they persist), forsake them in bed; and (as a last resort,) strike them. But if they obey you, seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Great.


Ibn Kathir commented on this, “The man is the woman’s custodian; he is her supervisor, chief, leader, and the one who corrects her if she deviates.”


That gives the man a major responsibility in running the family, and qualifies him for a number of rights. Those rights are to be rendered to him by the other family members and, above all, his wife. This is the “degree” or “edge” that Allah awarded to the man over the woman. Allah says:


It must be understood that this degree is a degree of responsibility before being a degree of homage. The man earns it by being truly worthy of the trust that Allah conferred on him, and loses it by neglecting that trust.


Submission to the husband’s authority

Allah has divided the responsibilities and duties within the family, and has set the man as the one in authority. The woman should not reject or challenge that authority. Rather, she should accept it in fulfillment of Allah’s commands. She should view her submission to her husband’s authority as a submission to Allah’s decree.


Absolute willingness to serve and cooperate

The woman should demonstrate her acceptance of her husband’s authority by showing willingness to serve him to her best ability.


Is the husband better?

One may wonder, “What is so great about the husband that the woman is required to perform heroic or impossible acts to please him?” In answering this question, we have to understand the following principles:


1. The rights granted to the husband are necessary for the peaceful and productive running of the family.

2. The man is expected to fulfill all of his responsibilities as husband and family-head and constantly offer his wife and children guidance, protection, support, nurturing, and so on. When the husband fulfills his responsibilities towards his wife, he becomes a true benefactor who deserves her full gratitude and support.


Therefore, the husband’s rights do not necessarily mean that he is better than the wife. He is of no higher status or better species. Piety and righteousness are what determines who is truly better than the other. His rights are set by Allah to guarantee the well-being and success of their relationship and their family.


Kindness towards the Husband

Part of a woman’s fulfillment of her husband’s rights is to treat him in a good and honorable way, and to avoid harming him


Showing Gratitude

The husband normally has many favours upon his wife. Those favours are not limited to the financial privilege which, even though is usually true, is not always the case. A woman should show gratitude to her husband, and should return his favours in the form of kindness and good treatment.A great example is Khadijah (RA), who was wealthier than the Prophet (Pbuh). Her financial advantage, though, did not make her arrogant or ungrateful to her husband. Rather, she was a great example of modesty and kindness that the Prophet continued to remember all his life.


Kindness to the husband is an act of worship

The woman’s treatment of her husband could be her passport to Jannah (or to the hellfire). Husayn Bin Mihsan reported that one of his paternal aunts visited the Prophet. He asked her, O woman, do you have a husband? She replied, “Yes.” He asked, how do you treat him? She replied, “As much as I can, I do not deny him any request.” He said: Check then what is your position with him, because he is either your (way to) Jannah or Fire.


Obeying the husband

Indeed, obeying the husband is an obligation on the women in Islam; it is an act of worship that she presents to Allah alone, only seeking his pleasure and acceptance. We have seen numerous texts instructing the woman to obey her husband and cooperate well with it him in maintaining the family. There are other texts that are even more explicit in this regard.


Abu Hurayrah reported that Allah’s Messenger said: “When a woman prays her five (prayers), fasts her month (Ramadan), preserves her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will be told (on the Day of Judgement), “Enter Jannah from any of its (eight) gates.”


Serving the husband

Part of a wife’s obedience to her husband is to serve him to her best ability. That includes performing the daily chores, serving his food, and so on. Ibn Qayyim noted, “The wife’s serving of her husband is a matter about which there is no doubt. It is not correct to differentiate in that regard between a noble and a low class woman, nor between a poor and a rich one”.


Doing things that please her husband

Part of her kindness toward her husband is that the woman should do her best to please him, making sure that what she does is not displeasing to Allah. A good woman attempts to please her husband with her appearance.


Admitting people only with his permission

A woman should not allow anyone into her husband’s house without his consent. Abu Hurayrah reported that Allah’s Messenger said: It is not permissible for a woman to fast, while her husband is present, without his permission — except for Ramadan. Nor is it permissible for her to admit anyone to his house except with his permissions. The husband’s consent could be implicit. For instance, if a woman is certain that her husband does not object to some of the neighboring women visiting her, she does not have to ask him for a specific permission every time one of them comes to visit her.


Avoiding asking for divorce without reason

A righteous woman would not ask her husband for divorce without a good reason. Only if she finds that he is causing her real harm in her faith or well-being would she be justified to seek divorce. Asking the husband for divorce demonstrates ungrate-fulness, and undermines the husband’s authority and efforts toward his wife. It is a blow in his face that is not allowed in Islam without a valid excuse.


(Source: The Fragile Vessels –Rights and Obligations between the Spouses in Islam by Muhammad al-Jibaly)

Do not feel deprived as long as you have a loaf of bread, a glass of water and clothes on your back.

A mariner once was lost at sea and remained lost for 21 days. When he was saved, someone asked him what the greatest lesson was that he took away with him from the experience. He answered: “ The biggest lesson that I learned from it was that if you have fresh water and sufficient food, you should never complain”. It has been said that, “ life in its entirety is a morsel of food and a drink of water. Whatever exceeds that is excess.”