Quran Speaks to You

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful


Believers, it is unlawful for you to inherit women against their will, or to bar them from re-marrying so that you may make off with part of what you have given them, save when they are guilty of a flagrant indecency. Consort with them in a goodly manner. Even if you are averse to them, it may well be that you are averse to something in which Allah has placed much good.


If you wish to take one wife in place of another and you have given the first one a large sum of money, do not take away anything of it. Would you take it away though that constitutes a gross injustice and a manifest sin? How can you take it away when each of you has been privily with each other, and they have received from you a most solemn pledge?


Do not marry women whom your fathers have already married, unless it be a thing of the past. Surely, that is an indecent, abominable and evil practice. (Women, An-Nisaa: 4:19-22)


It was the practice in pre-Islamic Arabia that women could be inherited by relatives of their deceased husbands when they had died, regardless of whether they were willing to marry their deceased husbands’ relatives or not. Islam stopped that practice and all similar ones which reduced the status of women in society to that of animals or inanimate objects which could be inherited. Islam views the family’s home as a place of peace where every member of the family feels secure. Marital relationship, from the Islamic standpoint is one based on affection and compassion. It must, therefore come into existence on the basis of free choice, so that it spreads an atmosphere into which mutual feelings of love, sympathy and compassion can prosper. Bearing this in mind, it is most befitting that Islam should say to husbands that should they dislike their wives, it may well be that the very wives they dislike are of much good to them. The marriage bond is something to be treasured, not to be severed in response to a passing whim. Marriage is a human institution of great importance. It must be viewed seriously. Its continued existence must not be subject to outbursts of temper or sudden change of superficial sentiment.


A good practical example of the seriousness with which Islam views marriage is provided by Umar ibn Al-Khattab (RA), the second caliph, who once was approached by a man who told him that he wanted to divorce his wife simply because “ he did not like her.” Umar said to him : “Are families built only on love? Where could you then place loyalty and mutual care?”


Compared with this, what some pedantics say about “love,” when they actually refer to momentary whims and changeable feelings, sounds cheap. The worst part of it is that such love is glorified to the extent that its absence is considered to be enough justification for divorce. They even advocate what is worse than that, namely infidelity. Such people justify adultery simply because a woman does not love her husband or a man does not love his wife. Such petty-minded people have no idea beyond momentary physical attraction. Their thoughts cannot turn to such ideals as loyalty, mutual care, fulfillment of one’s duty and responsibility towards one’s family. Moreover, their petty ideas keep them away from faith. They cannot appreciate what Allah says to his believing servants: If you are averse to them, it may well be that you are averse to something in which Allah has placed much good.


It is faith only, which elevates people and their concerns. It puts human life on a level far above wealth and carnal desires. When such human ideals are put into practice and it is found nevertheless, that life in the home has become intolerable and that it may be better for the man and his wife to separate, then a divorced woman takes all her dowry and whatever she has inherited. The husband cannot take away any part of it, plentiful as it may be. To take away, any part of it is evidently sinful: If you wish to take one wife in place of another and you have given the first one a large sum of money, do not take away anything of it. Would you take it away though that constitutes a gross injustice and a manifest sin?


This is followed by a fine touch inspired by the close intimacy which exists in family life: How can you take it away when each of you has been privily with the other, and they have received from you a most solemn pledge?


The Arabic expression used here and which we have rendered as one “ being privily with the other” has much wider and finer connotations. It is by no means limited to physical intimacy. It does not merely mean that a couple had given themselves to one another. It includes feelings, responses and sharing of secrets, problems and concerns. When we reflect on this verse, various images of married life come to mind, painting what happens between a man and his wife at every moment of night and day. Past memories are recalled. They have been privily with one another in their expressions of love, in their happy moments, in what they had shared of hopes and problems, in their aspiration for a happier present and a brighter future, in their shared thoughts about their children.


Compared with all these associations and memories which are recalled by the expression, when each of you has been privily with the other, the importance of physical love seems too small. Hence, the divorcing husband would be too shy to ask for a refund of part of the dowry he had given to his wife.


Another factor is introduced by the last part of this verse: And they have received from you a most solemn pledge. That pledge is the pledge of marriage which is given in the name of Allah and according to the method He has made lawful. It is a very solemn pledge which must be respected and highly valued by every believer. Hence the Quran addresses the believers and calls on them to respect that solemn pledge which they had given.


The last verse in this passage forbids most emphatically a man’s marriage with a woman whom his father had married before him. Such a practice was allowed in pre-Islamic Arabia. If a man dies leaving behind a young son, they may bar the young boy’s step-mother from marriage until he is old enough to marry her. Alternatively, if the son was old enough to marry, he could inherit his step mother. Islam forbids all that most emphatically: Do not marry women whom your fathers have already married unless it be a thing of the past. Surely, that is an indecent, abominable and evil practice.


It is easy to point out three considerations which lie behind this prohibition. We, as human beings do not pretend to know every reason for divine legislation. Nor do we make it a condition of obeying Allah’s legislation that we should know the wisdom behind it. It is sufficient that Allah has decreed something for us to obey and implement it. We are certain that it serves our interest and that divine wisdom is behind it.


The first consideration is that a father’s wife is in the same position as a mother. Secondly, when a son marries a former wife of his father, he sub-consciously feels himself to be his equal. Many people come to hate the former husbands of their wives. If a son is allowed to marry his father’s former wife, he may come to hate him, instead of loving him. Thirdly, there must be never any suspicion of inheriting one’s father’s wife, in the same way as it was practised in pre-Islamic days. As we have already said, such inheritance is an insult to the humanity of both man and woman. They have been created from a single soul, and their dignity and honour are the same.


For these reasons and others as well, such an action is considered to be very hateful. It is described as indecent, abominable-i.e. generating hatred, and an evil practice.