Q. I am in a real trouble. I have been married twice. The parents and other family members of my first wife put a lot of pressure on me and my parents to divorce my second wife. In such a situation, I have to write three talaq to my second wife which is definitely without my intention. Even when they compel me to write the words of three talaq, I was repeating in my mind and my heart with the word “NO” “NO” “NO” along with the words of three talaq. I did not utter talaq with my tounge and it was only in writing. Secondly, the implementation on this talaq was written from after one week. I made reconciliation with my wife before start of talaq date.
It is to be added here that I love my wife very much and I cant even think of living without her. I also have got 14 months girl from my second wife.
In such a situation, whether talaq has been completed or not. Please give me a detail answer in the light of Quran And Sunnah as soon as possible, I am really in very pain. Please guide me.
Firstly: It is not permissible for a woman to ask her husband to divorce his second wife:
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (ra) said: The Prophet (Pbuh) said: “It is not permissible for a woman to demand her sister’s divorce so that she may take her place and get married; she cannot have more than what is decreed for her.”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5144; Muslim, 1413).
According to another version, the Prophet (Pbuh) forbade women to stipulate (in the marriage contract) that their sister be divorced. (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2577). Al-Bukhaari included this hadeeth in a chapter entitled “Marriage conditions which are not permissible. “
(a) Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: the ruling of the Prophet (Pbuh) indicates that it is haraam for a woman to stipulate that her sister be divorced, and that the husband is not obliged to fulfill this condition. (Zaad al-Ma’aad, 5/107).
(b) Ibn Battaal said: Saying that it is not permitted clearly means that it is forbidden, but that does not necessarily mean that the marriage is annulled, rather it is to emphasize that the woman (the new wife) should not demand that he divorce the other wife. She should be content with that which Allaah has decreed for her. (al-Fath, 9/274)
(c) Al-Nawawi said: the meaning of this hadeeth is that it is not permitted for a non-mahram woman to ask the man to divorce his wife and to marry her so that she becomes the only one on whom he spends, whom treats kindly, has intercourse with, etc, as the divorced woman used to be. Sharh Muslim, 9/193
Based on the above, it is not permissible for the first wife to ask her husband to divorce you, so you should not pay any attention to what she says. Note that this is a case of the jealousy that exists in all women; indeed, jealousy existed even in the best of women, namely the wives of the Prophet (Pbuh), the Mothers of the Believers. Jealousy is something natural.
Secondly: The fact that she had treated you kindly is something for which she will be rewarded, but that does not allow her to ask her husband to divorce you. So be patient and ignore her demand, and treat her kindly as much as you can. The first wife should realize that she will not have anything other than that which is decreed for her, as it says at the end of the hadeeth quoted above from al-Bukhaari.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said: Hence he ended by saying, “she cannot have more than what is decreed for her,” to show that even if she asks for that or insists on it and stipulates it as a condition, nothing will happen except that which is decreed by Allaah. Al-Fath, 9/275
And Allaah knows best.
Q. If a husband writes a text message to his wife on the cell phone, saying “You are divorced” then he says that he did not mean it as a divorce, does that count as a divorce?.
Answer: Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly: The fuqaha’ are unanimously agreed that divorce may take place in writing, because divorce may be understood from writing letters, so it is akin to speaking, and because writing may take the place of words uttered by the writer. The evidence for that is the fact that the Prophet (Pbuh) was commanded to convey the message, so he conveyed it sometimes by speaking and sometimes in writing. So the writing by means of which divorce takes place is clear writing, such as writing on a paper, a wall or on the ground, in a manner that can be understood and read. As for writing that is not clear, such as writing in the air or in water or anything that cannot be understood and read, this does not count as a divorce, because this writing is like muttering that cannot be heard. End quote. Al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 12/217
Secondly: If the husband writes a message to his wife saying “You are divorced,” whether that is via a mobile phone or on a piece of paper or via e-mail, then it depends on his intention at the time of writing. If he was determined to divorce her, then it counts as a divorce, but if he wrote that without the intention of divorce, rather he wanted to make his wife upset or some other reason, then it does not count as a divorce.
Ibn Qudaamah (ra) said: Divorce does not take place if the word of divorce (talaaq) is not uttered, except in two cases, one of which is when a person is unable to speak, such as a man who is mute; if he issues a divorce by means of gestures, then his wife is divorced.
The second case is if the divorce is written; if he intended it as such then his wife is divorced. This is the view of al-Sha’bi, al-Nakha’i, al-Zuhri, al-Hakam, Abu Haneefah and Maalik, and it is the view that is narrated from al-Shaafa’i.
If a man writes it without intending divorce, then it does not count as such according to the majority of scholars, because writing is open to interpretation, and he may have intended just to test the pen, or improve his handwriting, or upset his wife, without intending it (as a divorce). End quote from al-Mughni, 7/373
Rather he was simply writing or he intended something other than divorce, because the Prophet (Pbuh) said: “Actions are but by intentions…” This view was held by very many of the scholars and some of them narrated that it was the view of the majority, because writing is like a metaphor, and a metaphor does not count as a divorce unless it is intended as such, according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions, unless the writing is accompanied by evidence that the intention was divorce, in which case it counts as such.
In the incident mentioned, there is nothing to indicate that the intention was divorce, so the marriage remains as it is, and actions are judged by intentions.
(Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid)