In a city where thousands live precariously on the edge, stress, work pressure, harassment, fear of rejection or loneliness is forcing many Muslims to consider ending their lives.

• Niloufer Hussain (21), a resident of MHADA colony, Malad (W) hanged herself on April 17. According to the police statement, Hussian had run up a debt of Rs 30,000, which she was not able to pay back. It has not been ascertained whom she owed the money to. Her mother found her hanging by the ceiling fan.

In a city where thousands live precariously on the edge, stress, work pressure, harassment, fear of rejection or loneliness could force many like Niloufer to consider ending it all. Mumbai, fear psychologists, is struggling to cope and taking the easy way out.

This year, there have already been seven suicides among children in Delhi, four in Mumbai and one in Calcutta and Chennai. Many more cases go unreported. For most children, examinations have come to mean emotional stress and trauma.

Eight-year-old Asfaque was so terrified of his father that the boy would hide under the bed when he returned from work. Realising that Asfaque’s attitude towards him was unhealthy, the father consulted psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty. “I advised him not to lose his temper and to be less strict with the boy. But it was difficult for him to change,” says Dr Shetty. One evening, the father, learning that Asfaque had not done his homework, yelled at him, “I’ll kill you!” The terrified boy ran to the next room and jumped from the fourth floor!

“Sometimes, I feel like running away from my chaotic life,’’ confesses Tarrannum Baig, an executive producer with a production and programming company. When on a shooting schedule, the 23-year-old works 14-hour shifts, without a break. And finding the time to meet friends and family is a problem.

For professionals in highly competitive fields, colleagues function as substitutes for family. Longer working hours mean less sleep, no time for relaxing,and consequently, more stress.

Today’s youngsters also have high aspirations, says psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty, president of the Counsellors Association of India. “When they are not met, there’s a lot of frustration which aggravates the situation.’’

Says, Dr Hemangee Dhavale, head of psychiatry department at the BYL Nair Hospital, a municipal hospital, “usually doctors succeed in resolving problems through psycho-therapy, but there is the occasional failure. “Safi, 15, was disobedient, aggressive and disinterested in studies. When he was brought to Nair Hospital, the doctors found that the root cause was the disciplinarian father who quarrelled with the mother and thrashed the boy. Despite their efforts, the doctors could not persuade the father to change. “So we helped Safi and his mother become more understanding towards the father,” says Dr Dhavale.

“The father of a 10-year-old boy came to me because he was shocked when his son told him that he felt like jumping from a building,” reveals Dr Shetty. The boy was a first-ranker. The doctor discovered that the mother suffered from depression and quarrelled frequently with the father after she stopped medication. “The mother had to be put back on medicines, the father had to be treated for stress and the boy for depression,” says Shetty.

The child may show symptoms before taking a drastic step such as suicide. “If a child is vulnerable and bottles up hurt and fear without recourse to coping mechanisms like crying and talking, the backlog builds up. The precipitating cause may be minor but it is the last straw,” says Fr. Berkie D’souza, director of the Xavier Counselling Services in Mumbai.

The high-risk population is, however, adolescents and university students. “February-March is the season when even brilliant students break down. This is because they have been studying non-stop for one year,” says Shastri. Forced to spend every free moment buried in books, the children either develop an aversion to studies or crumbling during crucial exams and if the results are bad, end their lives rather than face unforgiving parents.

But what do parents do when their children refuse to study? “I lose my temper fast. My son has to be forced to study, “ says Asha Dhaval who has sons aged 10 and 12. “There is so much tension at home. We have all the luxuries, but no peace of mind.”

Psychologists like Brinda Jaising believe in a holistic approach. She conducts regular workshops on parenting skills and for children on time management, relaxation techniques and study skills. “Regular study habits should be taught from the beginning. Children should be helped to respond rather than react,” says Brinda.

In a collection of the sayings of Prophet Muhammad(Pbuh) published almost two centuries after his death by Islamic scholar Sahih Bukhari, suicide is clearly prohibited: “Do not kill yourselves, for indeed Allah is Most Merciful to you. Whoever takes his or her own life by any means has unjustly taken a life that Allah has made sacred. Its preservation is a duty incumbent on any individual.”

Prophet Muhammad’s words ought to provide proof for those in any doubt as to the status of suicide in Islam. But if more is needed, go no further than the holy book, the Quran: “A man was inflicted with wounds and he committed suicide, and so Allah said:

“My slave has caused death on himself hurriedly, so I forbid Paradise for him.”

How to avoid depression:

• If your mind feels full and ready to burst, see a counsellor.

• When in pain, express your feelings to a friend, or write them down if you can’t say them out loud.

• During an emotionally charged moment, take deep breaths for a few minutes.

• If you have a disturbed relationship, seek rational answers, not feel-good solutions.

• An early resolution of pain helps prevent emotional disability (which is worse than physical disability).

• A veteran emotional blackmailer loses the ability to smile and feel good.

Muslim Perspectives