A three and half hour seminar on friends, how to make friends? Do our teens really need one? Probably they would all say please at least let us choose our own friends and do not interfere. With thoughts of their voices echoing in my ears I proceeded to the venue, Bift Hall Darus salaam, Queens Road Bangalore. The seminar soon took off with the hall almost full with faces of youngsters bright and cheerful. Some expected to learn how to cope with peer pressure and attitudes of friends while some wanted to know which friends to keep and whom to throw. Don’t worry this seminar is designed for all your needs Br Dawood assured.
The seminar had began it looked not like a bunch of teenagers but seemed like a bee-hive. Learning the rules of friendship through games, listening to stories with morals and messages, interacting with the coach kept the bees buzzing away.
Rather than giving the whole apple at once the idea of slicing it and giving a slice at a time seemed to be working, no fuss at all. Each module showed the mistakes that were made, but at the same time a gentle word of encouragement that it’s never too late to make amends, and it is not a silver or gold ship that is best but a strong bond of friendship that can be steady and brave the worst of storms.
How often do we really make a choice of friends? Fear of being left alone and pushed in a dark corner? Or is it the mantra of today to be cool that is you are always on the net chatting always or on the cell phone disconnected with everything around you, what is it that pushes you to get attached to what is called the birds of the same feathers. A small game of choosing a favorite color and forming group of the same and then intermingling with the others made the participants realize what pushed them to flock together and miss out on the real fun and frolic of being more accommodative.
It’s really cool to have lots and lots of friends. Sure, you can make as many friends as you wish, with life throwing challenges at your everyday, friends to solve all your problems would be great.
Yes friends are imperfect and instable old ones move away and new ones come definitely one cannot centre his life on them. Half way through, but how do we know that we have made a good choice? For the Hadith of Muhammad (Pbuh), says man is on the religion of his friend so let every one of you examine whom to be friends with.
The answer to this question what preceded was really amazing. Br. Dawood chooses Imam Jawzee (R.A) teachings as a litmus test. According to imam Jawzee friends are of 4categories 1. Food: The Company of people of knowledge is like food, indispensible 2.Medicine: you need them when disease sets in they are a necessity 3. Disease: mixing with them is harmful they neither speak good so that you benefit nor listen to you so that they benefit. 4. Poison: It is doom in itself, a people of innovation, misguidance and disobedient.
What seemed complex was made simple by a few activities which gave a reflection of who their friends really were and at the same time mirroring their own selves. A friend in need is a friend indeed. A momin is a mirror to his brother, 3 hrs seemed to have just flown away, and the seminar closed with the very best of examples the friendship of none other than Muhammad (Pbuh) and Hazrath Abu Bakr Siddiquee (R.A). The last module had the participants awestruck. The ease with which it was conveyed was just amazing. You got to be there to get it. The participants seemed to be in a different world, as they walked out to meet and depart only for the sake of Allah. Friendship is not a popularity contest nor a rat race
(for even if you win you are a rat.)