Our Dialogue

Q. May I start by saying that I adhere to Islamic teachings as much as I can. However, I am bothered by the thought that I have no choice as to the very basic step of coming into existence. It may be that my parents wanted so much to have a baby, but why should I be responsible for my birth? May I give the analogy of obeying one’s superiors in one’s job? We all do this because we do not wish to lose our jobs. Moreover, we apply to that job in the first place. But when I think about my birth, life and death, my thoughts give me a feeling of helplessness. I cannot escape the thought that Allah has created some rules and I have to adhere to them for the very reason that otherwise I will suffer after death. I will be grateful for your comments.

A. There is nothing wrong with thinking about one’s existence. Indeed, we are invited to do so by Allah because such thinking is conducive to strengthening our faith. When sometimes our thoughts do not seem to fit in with our beliefs, we should be little careful. We should examine our premise and how our thoughts develop. There may be something wrong in the process.


What seems to trouble you, in the line of thinking you are following, as you have explained it to me, is the thought of choice which you seem to desire before coming into existence. But this is the thought of choice which you seem to desire before coming into existence. This is the thought of a mature human being about a stage of existence which is very different from his own. May I ask: At what point in time you think a human being should be given this choice at the beginning or end of adolescence? In childhood? Immediately at birth? At the time of conception? Or should the choice be given to the male sperm or female egg? If the choice should be given to the sperm, then would it not be only fair to give it to every single sperm, although only one in billions is destined to become a full human being? If one suggests that the choice should be given at the time of conception, would a zygote be able to make a rational choice? Perhaps it is more reasonable to suggest that the choice should be given sometime during one’s life, when one has known enough about human life to determine whether to continue with it or not. One could then choose whether to continue with one’s life, obeying Allah’s rules and taking the risk of punishment in the hereafter if he fails to do so. Otherwise, one is immediately and finally obliterated. Suppose that such a choice is given, what sort of result would be expected from it? Would you not think that every human being will opt for a continued existence, giving every pledge to follow divine guidance? The love of life makes every single one of us cling to it despite going through very difficult circumstances. We always hope that our situation would improve and we would be able to enjoy a better life. On the other hand, if we say that the choice should be given to us before we are born, would we be able to make a choice based on mature judgment without ever being aware of the outcome of the choice we make?


The fact is that we have a choice at every moment in our lives. While it is true that the choice is not whether to live or not, but what sort of life we should lead. We should not portray the choice in the way of have, as something we have to give in order to avoid future suffering. That is certainly a grim picture if it was true. It is not. What is wrong with the way you describe the choice is that it implies that we will be saved from suffering in the life to come if we are willing to pay a price now, in the form of obeying certain rules. That makes the benefit of our compliance accrue to someone else or indeed to Allah. This is wrong because Allah does not benefit at all by our obedience or compliance with His rules. Read if you will the sacred (or Qudsi) Hadith in which the Prophet quotes Allah as saying: My servants, you will not attain benefiting Me. My servants, were the first of you and the jinn of you to be as pious as the most pious heart of any one man of you, that would not increase My kingdom in any way. My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to be as wicked as the most wicked heart of any one man of you, that would not decrease My kingdom in any way. My servants, were the first of you and the last of you, the human of you and the jinn of you to rise up in one place and make a request of Me, and were I to give everyone what he requested, that would not decrease what I have, anymore than a needle decreases the sea if dipped into it.


“My servants, it is but your deeds that I reckon up for you and then recompense you for, so let him who finds good, praise Allah and let him who finds other than that blame no one but himself,” (Related by Muslim, At-Tirmithi and ibnMajah).


If our worship and compliance with Allah’s orders does not benefit him, why are we then required to do it? The answer is: For our own benefit. Allah has created us the way we are, and has sent us messengers to show us how to lead a happy human life. Their role is to point out to us what benefits us and what spares us problems and misery.


What they have conveyed to us is a complete message which outlines an integrated system, devised by Allah who has created man and who knows what benefits and suits him, to be implemented in human life and to bring man happiness. Thus, when we obey Allah’s rules, we are the beneficiaries. The benefit is immediate, because the rules are made so that they spare man affliction, contradiction and confusion. You say that you try to live by the Islamic code. Have you asked yourself: What benefit to Allah are your prayers and your fasting? When you think deeply about it you guard against temptation and falling in sin. Fasting also teaches you self-discipline. When a human being puts Allah’s constitution behind his back, it is he who suffers. He does not harm Allah in any way. So the choice we have in this life is whether to do what is right and enjoy its benefit immediately in this life, or to reject it and suffer the consequences of this rejection.


Moreover, complete obedience to Allah is not possible, not even by the best human beings. Everyone is liable to error and everyone errs. But when we do, we seek Allah’s forgiveness and it is forthcoming when our request is genuine. Let us not forget that a human being may be in error throughout his life, but then he realizes his mistakes and repents them, seeking Allah’s forgiveness. He may die shortly after that, but he is forgiven everything he has done in his past. If you take this example and that of a person who lives a most pious life and put them together, what do you get? You will find that even the most pious person slips often enough to incur punishment. He cannot thank and praise Allah enough for His blessings, yet he disobeys him. If Allah were to treat him in hell. But Allah does not do that. He forgives everyone who turns to Him in genuine repentance, even the most wicked of mankind. Therefore, we must not view our obedience of Allah’s message of something which is sufficient to ensure our salvation. Our salvation is attained only through Allah’s grace. But the choice is ours throughout our lives. The choice is to adopt a responsive or defiant attitude. Although when we make the right choice we do not live up to it, Allah’s grace is so great that our choice ensures our salvation.

Q. What sort of pain is associated with death: how does it start and how long does it last? Will angles of death be visible to us and do they show us the place to which we will be taken? Is it necessary to tell the “kalimah” to a dying person? Why do we apply honey to his lips? Does the spirit hear or see people after a person has died? Does it feel pain if the dead body is moved or touched? Does the pain vary from one person to another?


A. As you are aware. Man is made of the combination of spirit and body. As long as they are united, he is alive. Once the spirit departs from the body, that human being dies. What causes this separation is Allah’s will, since He has given each one of us a specific life duration, at the end of which we die. It is to be expected that the departure of the spirit from the body may be associated with pain which is different from the pain one experiences during an illness. No one however can describe this pain. Since those who die do not return to this life. We have a Hadith from which we infer that the experience of this separation varies according to whether or not the dying person is a believer. Abu Hurairah quotes the Prophet as saying: “When a believer is about to die, the angels come to him with a white sheet of silk and say: Come out, good soul, well pleased and well pleasing, to a world of mercy and roses and to meet a Lord who is not displeased. It comes out with an odor which is more pleasant than musk. The angels hand him over one to the other until they get him to the door of heaven where its angels say: What a pleasant smell has come to you from earth. They bring him over to meet the spirits of believers who are more joyful to meet him than any one of you when he meets a dear relative who has come back after long absence…when a disbeliever is about to die, the angels who administer torture come to him with rugs and say: Come out, you spirit, displeased, to receive divine punishment. It comes out smelling like a most rotten corpse and they take it to the earth gate where the angels say: What a rotten soul. Then they throw him with the spirit of disbelievers. (Related by Al-Nassaie, and by Muslim in an abridged form).


We should certainly try to get a dying person to say the “Kalimah” or repeat the declaration that he or she believes in the Oneness of Allah and in the message of Muhammed (Pbuh). As for putting honey on the lips of a dying person, this is something that I know nothing of. As for the rest of your questions. I think the best answer is to quote you this authentic Hadith: “Anas quotes the Prophet as saying: When a deceased person is placed in his grave and his relatives and friends leave, he hears the sound of their shoes. Two angels come to him and sit him up and question him. They ask him: What was your view of this man. Muhammed? If the person was a believer., he would say: I bear witness that he is Allah’s servant and Messenger.


They say to him: Look at your position which you would have had in hell. Allah has replaced it for you with a position in heaven. He sees both positions. When a disbeliever or a hypocrite is asked what used to be his view of Prophet Muhammed (Pbuh), he would answer: I do not know and can never tell. He is then struck with an iron hammer in between his ears. He makes a cry which is heard by all creatures with the exception of human beings and jinn.” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim).


As for the question whether a deceased person feels pain, the answer is that the body loses its senses after the spirit departs.

Q. If one is financially well off, should he sacrifice one sheep for every member of the family?

A. Sacrifice on Eid day is strongly recommended. It is not obligatory. Therefore, it cannot be considered as an obligation on the head of the family or any of its members. However, it remains very strongly encouraged. The minimum that one may sacrifice is one sheep for himself and his dependents. If he sacrifices more, his reward is greater. Obviously, the sacrificial meat should be used in the way recommended by the Prophet. The best division is for one to keep one third to one’s family and give one third in gifts to relatives and neighbors, and give the third gift to the poor. If one is sacrificing more than one sheep, and he wants to increase the portion he gives to the poor, his reward is greater.

Q. What is the suitable age for girl married? Can she marry at the age of 14? The law in my country prohibits the marriage of a girl before the age of 18. Please advise so that we can abide by the law of our country without violating any Islamic principle.

A. It is permissible that a father makes a contract of marriage on behalf of his young daughter, even before she attains puberty. If he does so, her husband is not allowed to have the marriage consummated until she attains puberty when she can either endorse or reject the marriage. No one other than her father may force a young girl to get married. A girl of 14 years is not considered too young after she has attained puberty. If she married, then her marriage is valid from the Islamic point of view.


As far as the particular circumstances to which you have referred, there is a guiding principle in Islam which gives the ruler the right to promulgate orders restricting something which is initially permissible, if the restriction is calculated to serve the interests of the community. The restriction must not violate any Islamic principle or legal provisions.


In this particular case, if the ruler, upon weighing all relevant evidence, concludes that it is in the best interest of the people to raise the age of marriage, he may do so. Recent studies show that when young girls get pregnant, before their bodies have fully developed, they face an increased risk of maternal death, i.e. death during pregnancy or at childbirth. The risk is further compounded in developing countries, especially the poorer ones, because a substantial percentage of the population suffers from under nutrition. If the ruler of a country in which such conditions prevail promulgates a decree which does not allow marriages before the age of 18, or any higher or lower age, then, from the Islamic point of view, the ruler must be obeyed. It may be that the law in your country has taken these risks into girls until the age of 18. In this case, the law must be obeyed.

Q. If a person gives money for charity without first settling his personal debts, is such charity acceptable or worthy of reward?


A. A person who is a net debtor is not required to give zakah. In fact he qualifies as a beneficiary of zakah. If a person owes money to others, he should set aside the amount of his debts and calculate what will be left. If it exceeds the threshold of zakah, then he is liable to pay zakah for that amount, excluding what settles his debts. This shows how important is the settlement of debts from the standpoint of Islam. When we come to consider giving a charitable donation other than zakah, then obviously a person who owes money to others need not give such a charity unless he has more than enough to settle his debts.


It is true that a person who is a net debtor need not give any money in charity, but he should try to settle his debts as soon as possible. However, if a person had made some arrangements by which he has to pay his debts over a certain period of time and he has a regular income out of which he has to pay his debts over a certain period of time and he has a regular income out of which he pays a portion towards the settlement of his debts and retains the balance for his normal expenses, then he can donate for charity any amount of what he has retained. If he does that he is certainly rewarded for it. Indeed, his reward may be multiplied because he is in need of the money to pay off his debts but he prefers to help someone who may be in a greater need.