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A lesson in geography on why we could all walk on the surface of the earth, and not be thrown out into the dark space, was the beginning to my journey to Islam.
I reverted to Islam on 5th October, 1991. I believed that every child is born in a pure state and that only their parents brought them up in the way they think best and the only way they probably know how. May Allah guide their hearts to Islam.
I came from a Chinese background. My whole family believed in worshipping the idols and the dead ancestors. Throughout my childhood, I was made to believe that there were many gods, god of mercy, wealth etc. Every year, I would have high hope and enthusiasm that my grandfather would bring me to the temple to worship ‘our’ gods. What drew me to them as a child was that there were many types of food ( I thought the food would taste nicer because they had been offered to the gods ) and the ‘gods’ look very mystique. Some of the idols projected a sense of fear, some beauty and this lists go on and on. On that day, we would burn paper money and worship our ‘gods’ using some incense sticks. We would observe all these in silence. I used to hope that one day I would know how to say the words that my grandfather said to the idols and the little secrets and tricks he used with the ‘magic stones’.
At home, we had pictures of dead ancestors. Every full moon, I would eagerly ask my grandmother if she would honour me by throwing the two coins. If the coins both showed the head or tails, then it meant the dead ancestors have not finished eating.
I also came from a Muslim country called Brunei and by the blessings of Allah, I came to a school with the majority of the students being Muslims. I remember once a friend brought a comic book with pictures of the punishment of hell fire. I didn’t fully comprehend them at that time. The only lesson I had at that time was never to tear any packages of sweets or crisps, otherwise we would be punished equally in the hereafter.
A lesson in geography on why we could all stand and walk on the surface of the earth and not be thrown out into the dark space was the beginning to my journey to Islam. I came home feeling confused and asked my uncle why this is so. In the year 1988, I won a scholarship to study in the United Kingdom. This had been my lifelong ambition and I had worked long and hard for this. My main aim in life up was to become rich and useful and to make my parents very proud of me. The only way I know how, was to become a doctor. The helpless feeling I had when I was forced to sit next to my great grandmother’s death bed till her last breath had never escaped my memory.
I studied ‘A’ level in a girls school. All I knew about Islam, although I had many Muslim friends and lived in a Muslim country then was that Muslims do not eat pork, they fast in Ramadan and they were the losers. All my experience with Muslims had not attracted me to them, although I had a strange feeling at age seven, that I will become a Muslim just like my uncle. In that college, one night, I dreamt I heard a loud Azaan. I walked towards it and stood in front of a big gate with Arabic writing on it. I didn’t know what it meant for I did not know Arabic then. I felt an immense sense of peace and security. The room was illuminated with light and I saw white figures praying. The feeling I had was greater than I could write or express. The next day I forced myself to ask one of my Malaysian Muslim friend. She told me it is ‘Hidayah’ from Allah. This first conversation helped me to ask many more questions that had been on my mind for all these years about Islam. I had always been taught that Muslims are bad and they always oppressed the non-Muslims etc. That year, I went back to Brunei, I told my family I want to have a year out, for my mind could concentrate on my previous aim. I felt there was something more important than everything I had worked for all those years. Not surprisingly, I was not allowed and had to continue in this state of mind. Days and nights, I cried because I could only hear the Azaan echo in my mind.
My first contact with real practising Muslims was my childhood friend. At that point in life, she was also renewing her faith. I learnt a lot from her, mostly from her actions. That was the first time I saw Islam in action (people praying etc ). I tried fasting then and also attempted to eat only halal food for 2-3 years before my conversion.
The turning point in my life was when I was rejected from all the universities to study medicine. I pondered about the attributes of Allah and promised Allah that should I be accepted to a medical college, I would believe all that my friends had told me… that Allah is ever present. Miraculously, the next day I was told that despite their initial rejection, I was accepted. What can I say after that, but “there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is the last Prophet”.
(www.islamicity.com)
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