Early childhood experience leaves a mark on the personality. An individual’s likes, dislikes, habits, fears and discipline enforced, or lack of it during childhood, are all factors for the making up of a personality. A happy home, satisfying, comfortable childhood, warmth and security from parents, good schooling are considered as a necessary corollary for a healthy development of a child’s personality. Deprivation of these conditions in a childhood, sickness, ill treatment, poverty and hunger and bad schooling have made many intelligent children delinquents. They develop behavioural problems.
Child studies have revealed that where children are not brought up in a healthy and satisfying atmosphere, then such children tend to learn lying, deception, trickery and later in their lives would tend to take revenge on society by doing such acts. This is just to show, that, they were also treated likewise in their childhood. Some children would find sonic ways to wean their deficiencies. They try to excel in such acts and deeds to draw attention for ego satisfaction as a defence mechanism. They may take up to sports’, excel in school activities or other physical activities, to substitute their lost image. Sonic children tend to become submissive, pensive, moody and withdrawn. Some such submissive children learn fine arts and also adopt means by which they overcome tensions and pressures.
In cases, where deprived children are not in a position to either wean their deficiency by adopting defence mechanism and other healthy activities, that bring success to them, then, such children tend to become introverts and problematic due to behavioural maladjustments. Some children tend to become mystical and pondering types. They lack physical strength to compete with the tougher children. They may be intelligent, but due to deprived upbringing, they may not be in a position to display their talents. Therefore, being weak in physical strength and due to lack of coaching and attention from teachers and parents, they withdraw from their peer group and become day dreamers.
It may also happen that a child, who is over burdened with love and given excessive care and attention, may also become over protective and such a child may not be in a position to develop a healthy personality. Children, who are pampered a lot, do not show healthy and normal growth in their future life. Children of rich parents and of powerful personalities, when given faulty up bringing are found to have faced maladjustments and behaviourial problems.
Therefore, it is incumbent on society to take special care of all children, be it those belonging to minorities or depressed classes, schedule caste or tribes. Children of higher caste and well-off families should be made to realise that deprived children should be shown sympathy, kindness and understanding. This is of prime importance, as our nation is now facing tremendous strife and conflicts. It is these children, who grow up to shoulder future responsibilities of the society. Thus their well being should concern every one of us.
The circumstances of illiterate parents with moderate or low incomes, with many children living in joint families, also leave a trial of sorrows on the young minds. Traumatic experiences in early childhood either makes a child timid or excessively aggressive and the child, as he grows older, may find it extremely difficult to adjust in a socialised surrounding. Therefore, the warmth and security of a father is of utmost important for the child’s development, as childhood memory registers both good and bad events.
Where parents consistently quarrel and the family harmony is disturbed or even where the presence of the father in the house is hardly felt by the children, even in such cases, the child’s personality would miss the lustre and charm of life. The child’s mental equilibrium and emotional stability gets disturbed. It has been observed that children from such broken homes have taken up to crimes. Where couples are divorced and the child does not find an alternate source of comfort and warmth and his psychological urges are left unattended; such a child faces severe emotional stress and strain.
A child reared up in the presence of a drunkard father, who beats his mother and ill treats his family, also develops emotional stress. Even in cases, where the mother is cruel and unsupportive and a child brought up in such cruelty can be maladjusted.
Thus, for a healthy growth of children and to make them responsible citizens of the country, there is an urgent need to evolve ways and means to help them. From among the nation’s top priority of various social measures, child care and programmes for healthy growth and development should be given priority. Various programmes should be initiated in schools and colleges. by visual education through TV and Radio; and by encouraging children to participate in scouts and guides, NSS, NCC and such programmes. This will help children to overcome personality defects and also help in a healthy personality development.
(The writer is editor of Sufi World and can be reached at internationalsuficentre@gmail.com, www.internationalsuficentre.org)