Good manners are very important and Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) rated them as the best way to ensure a high position in heaven on the Day of Judgment. We are using the term “good manners” as denoting universally accepted virtues, such as forgiveness, generosity, bravery, forbearance, fidelity, looking after other people’s interests, etc.
The Prophet is the most perfect example for people to follow, he practised what he preached and conducted himself as required by the highest standards of good manners. We will speak about certain aspects of his character showing that he was the one to follow in every respect.
The Prophet disliked hard attitudes and hard character. He believed that there was nothing worth causing hardship or affliction to other people. His wife, Hazrat Ayesha (RA) says of him: “Allah’s Messenger was never offered the choice between two alternatives over matters of this world without choosing the easier one, unless the easier choice be sinful. In that case he kept furthest away from it. Allah’s messenger never sought revenge for himself, unless it is something which violates what Allah has consecrated. In that case, he sought to set the record straight for Allah’s sake. (Related by Al- Bukhari, Muslim, Abu-Dawood and Malik).
Choosing the easier alternative is kinder to his followers. He thus taught his nation to prefer the easier course in all matters. Whatever would please people and ensure the comfort and happiness was always preferable to their profit. The only provision is that this easier course must be legitimate. If it was sinful, he would steer away from it. That is to be expected from the Prophet who has been sent as a mercy to mankind. A sinful practice is indeed the more difficult choice, although it may appear easy or more enjoyable. The ease and enjoyment can only be momentary. They are, however, attended by Allah’s displeasure which puts people in very difficult position.
Moreover, the Prophet never sought vengeance for himself. Seeking vengeance is characteristic of a hard person who finds it difficult to forgive. The Prophet was willing to forgo any personal injury he may have suffered, but he was unwilling to forgive the violation of Allah’s strict bounds. We can easily see the distinction between the two. When it was a matter of principle relevant to what Allah has made lawful or forbidden, then the Prophet was unwilling to sacrifice even the smallest of his principles. He honored them all.
Another Hadith which is of great significance is the one reported by Abdullah ibn Masood, who quotes the Prophet as saying:” Allah has apportioned to you your characters in the same way as he apportioned your provisions. Allah gives wealth to those he loves and those he does not love, while he does not grant faith except to those whom he loves. He who holds his money too dearly to spend it (for Allah’s cause) and is prevented by the fear of the enemy from fighting and is too weary to stand up at night in worship, should often repeat that: there is no deity save Allah, glory to Allah, praise to be Allah and Allah is the greatest. (Related by Ahmad, Al Bukhari in Al Adab Al Mufrad and Al-Hakim).
The first sentence in this Hadith tells us that our characters are given to us by Allah. This means that by nature, we have the aptitude to follow a certain course, or adopt a certain line. It does not mean that some of us are created liars while others are, by nature, truthful. We can certainly develop our characters, taking free decisions to be, for example, generous, forgiving, reasonable, etc. This is no different from the opportioning of our provisions by Allah. It does not mean that we will get our money whether we work for it or not. Allah certainly does not shower money or provisions on us from the clouds. He facilitates for us our work and makes our efforts successful. The more we do, the greater are our earnings. People sometimes suggest that it is better to spend time in worship than to work for one’s living. They argue that what Allah has apportioned, for us, we will get. That fatalistic attitude is not Islamic. Allah tells us to work in order to earn our living. If we do not work, we earn nothing. The Prophet once saw a man spending all his time in the mosque. He asked who supported him? When he was told that it was his brother, the Prophet said that his brother was a better worshiper than him.
The second sentence in this Hadith tells us that wealth is not that important in an Islamic view. Allah gives wealth to believers and non-believers, to those he loves and to those whom he does not love. When we see a man who is very wealthy, his wealth does not signify that he is dearer to Allah. Nor is a poor person less favored by Allah. The Prophet tells us: “had this world (and all its riches), been worth even one wing of a mosquito, not a glass of water would He have allowed of it to any non-believer.
If this world and all its richest are so worthless in Allah’s view, then being wealthy does not mean that one is favored or loved by Allah. It is faith with which Allah favors those whom he loves, faith gives a person good character. He earns respect in his community even by those who do not share his faith. This is due to the fact that when one has faith, one tries his best to behave well with others, improve his manners and adhere to noble moral values. That is bound to earn him the love and respect of every one. That is true wealth, which is indicative of Allah’s favor.
Faith places certain requirements in people. They are supposed to sacrifice their money and their lives for Allah’s cause. Yet such a sacrifice does not come so easy to all people. Man is sometimes governed by his narrow view of this world. He finds it difficult to part with his money even for a good cause. He may slacken when he is called upon to join a campaign of Jihad. He may prefer to rest at night and finds it difficult to wake up in the middle of the night in order to stand up for worship. When a person shows such reluctance, that does not take him out of the realm of faith altogether. He is still a believer, but his motives have not been refined enough by his faith. The Prophet prescribed for him that he should repeat praises and glorification of Allah. By doing so, he reminds himself of his position in this world and that he is totally dependant on Allah. He remembers that Allah has given him so much of his grace that he should always be thankful. He may remember that when he fulfills his duty and sacrifices his wealth and shows his readiness to sacrifice his life, Allah will give him more. That may come in this world or may come in the next life.
Repeating such praises of Allah is important even if it does not bring about such a change of attitude. Allah rewards us generously for praising him and glorifying him. More over, we feel our relationship with Allah to be more intimate. We know that His grace and bounty is so great that we cannot thank him enough for it, were we to spend all our time in worship. After all, our worship does not benefit Allah; it benefits us only. Then we should not hold it as a favor which we do to Allah . We should remember the qudsi hadith in which Allah tells us that if all human beings and jinn, in past generations as well as in future ones, were as devoted and pious as the most dedicated believer to have ever lived, they would not increase Allah’s kingdom in any way. Conversely, if all of them were as wicked as the most evil unbeliever to ever walk this planet, they would not decrease Allah’s kingdom in any way. As already said, our worship refines our characters. If benefits us, and does not benefit Allah in any way. It is only through Allah’s grace and generosity that He rewards us for it.