Playing host to relatives and friends is no pleasant task nowadays, especially in cities where people have hectic schedules of life. It is therefore necessary that one follows a few guidelines:
* The Prophet, peace be upon him, had designated a 3-day stay for an ideal guest. In today's busy life, one should keep it to minimum and to a duration that is just about necessary.
n Remember a guest is different from a visitor. Visitors are welcome. Guests are generally avoided. So take all measures necessary to appear least burdensome to your host and share their household chores like chopping the vegetables, washing utensils, dropping the kids to neighbourhood schools etc.
* Inform the host about your arrival and departure schedule beforehand and stick to it. Never depend on your host to make train/flight reservation for you.
* Carry your own soap, toothpaste, medicines, cosmetics, towels, kerchiefs, napkins, combs, shaving box, chappals and other items of personal use. This list includes even mobile phones, i-pods, laptops, cameras today as miniaturized version of them have made it possible for them to be packed into one's baggage.
* Attune yourself with the host's schedule and try to synchronize yours with it. Have dinner with host's family even if your schedule demands it a little later in the evening. Mould yourself temporarily into the pattern of life followed by the hosts.
* Be generous and easy on your purse. Purchasing bread, eggs or vegetable and fruit for the host will go a long way in making your stay pleasurable.
* Carry some gifts for your host. A pair of towels, a sweet box, a bedspread, some toys for the kids will enhance your acceptability.
* Avoid using your host's vehicles, hair-dryer, TV, computer, telephone or any other gadgets.
* Do not make 'look at his (newborn or child's) nose' type of comments. They will leave a sour taste to linger on for years.
* Do not forget to wash your undergarments and hang them on clotheslines. Similarly spread your towel under the sun.
* If you are a single male and the guest's family has a single female (with whom you do not have a relationships of the level of uncle or siblings), go out with the male household head after the breakfast and return only after he is back home. You should not be a nightmare for your host and his family.
* Do not pass negative remarks about the host's kids, their behavior, the quality of things used by them, or schools they attend, or their lifestyle. Even remarks like 'sweety being sweeter than pinky' are likely to be misunderstood. Instead appreciate their positive attributes.
* If you have stayed in your host's house in their absence, replenish their fridge or store with all that you have used or perhaps a measure more than that. Take meticulous care of their things. Switch off lights and gadgets before you hand over the keys to the caretaker. Feed the fish in the aquarium as instructed. Arrange the books and newspapers. It should not be a case of your locking the house while there was a power failure and water pump was not switched off. If so, be sure, this will be your last visit.
* Never look into the personal affairs of your host, do not take a peek into their drawers, bank passbooks, letters, documents stored in the PC and even in their bedrooms. Do not interfere into their personal squabbles.
* Once you have returned to your permanent station, send a 'Thank You” card to your host. Email the snaps you had with them.
Remember, the relationship between a guest and a host is tied through a slender thread of mutual love and not one between providers and dependants. It has to be nurtured carefully. They best way to do that is to acknowledge all favours and return the same at the earliest opportunity. It gets strengthened by giving than expecting. And both sides need to do that.
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December 2009 |